In a traditional Chinese wedding, the Betrothal Ceremony (过大礼) is one of the most important pre-wedding customs.
It represents the groom’s sincerity, respect toward the bride’s family, and the official confirmation of the marriage agreement.
For many couples, this is their first time planning such a traditional ceremony — and it can quickly become confusing with all the customs, gifts, and etiquette involved.
This guide will help you understand:
✅ What the Betrothal Ceremony is
✅ When it should be held
✅ What items need to be prepared
✅ Important traditions and taboos to know
So you can prepare your wedding smoothly and confidently.
The Betrothal Ceremony is a traditional Chinese pre-wedding custom where the groom’s family presents gifts to the bride’s family as a symbol of respect, sincerity, and commitment.
It is usually held:
Before marriage registration
1–3 months before the wedding day
After selecting an auspicious date
Although modern weddings are often simplified, many families still value the meaning and tradition behind this ceremony.
Customs may vary depending on dialect groups such as Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew, Hakka, and others, but the following are the most common items prepared for a traditional ceremony.
The betrothal money symbolizes the groom’s sincerity and appreciation toward the bride’s family.
Common practices include:
Presented in red packets
Even numbers are considered auspicious
Sometimes divided into “major” and “minor” betrothal gifts
Some families may symbolically accept the money and later return part of it to the couple.
These candles symbolize:
Harmony and prosperity
A blessed marriage
Family continuation
Usually prepared as a pair of red candles decorated with dragon and phoenix designs.
One of the most traditional betrothal gifts.
Common choices include:
Traditional Chinese wedding cakes
Modern pastry gift boxes
Western-style wedding pastries
Cake vouchers
The bride’s family often distributes them to relatives and friends to share the wedding announcement.
Popular auspicious fruits include:
Apples (peace and harmony)
Oranges (good luck)
Mandarins (wealth and prosperity)
Grapes (fertility and abundance)
Avoid:
Pears (symbolizing separation)
Odd-number quantities
Especially common in Cantonese traditions.
It symbolizes:
The bride’s purity
The groom’s sincerity and generosity
Modern alternatives may include:
Roast pork gift boxes
Symbolic golden pig decorations
Red packets instead
Traditional alcohol gifts may include:
Rice wine
Liquor or wine bottles
Items prepared in even numbers
They symbolize celebration and family unity.
These symbolize:
Prosperity and descendants
Harmony in marriage
Some families also prepare red dates, lotus seeds, and dried lilies together for auspicious meanings.
Some families may prepare:
Dragon and phoenix blankets
Bridal pajamas
Traditional wedding buckets
Wash basins
Red wedding household items
These represent a blessed and harmonious married life.
Common jewelry items include:
Gold necklace
Gold bangles
Gold earrings
Gold ring
These are traditionally gifted by the groom to the bride.
After receiving the betrothal gifts, the bride’s family may prepare return gifts such as:
Red packets
Returning part of the gifts
Candies or desserts
This symbolizes mutual respect and good relations between both families.
Topics usually include:
Ceremony date
Betrothal money amount
Gift arrangements
Whether to simplify the ceremony
It is recommended to prepare everything at least 2–4 weeks in advance to avoid missing any important items.
The groom’s side will usually visit the bride’s home together with:
Family elders
A matchmaker
Married relatives or representatives
The bride’s family typically keeps part of the gifts and symbolically returns some items to the groom’s family.
Every family follows different traditions, so early discussion helps avoid:
Misunderstandings
Insufficient preparations
Family dissatisfaction
Modern couples often prefer:
Simpler ceremonies
Red packets instead of excessive gifts
Meaningful experiences over formalities
The most important thing is mutual comfort and respect.
Traditionally:
Gifts should be prepared in even numbers
Odd numbers are avoided
Avoid unlucky pronunciations or meanings
Modern betrothal ceremonies are much more flexible today.
A simplified version may only include:
Wedding cakes
Red packets
Dragon and phoenix candles
Fruit baskets
And that is already sufficient for many families.
The Chinese Betrothal Ceremony is more than just a tradition —
it is an important moment that symbolizes the joining of two families.
There is no need to make it overly complicated or extravagant.
What matters most is:
✔ Good communication between families
✔ Sincerity and mutual respect
✔ Creating beautiful memories together
If you are currently planning your wedding,
you are always welcome to visit the studio and chat with the photographer about wedding planning, gowns, and photography arrangements to make your wedding journey easier and more enjoyable.
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